The center poles were also useful in helping to raise the side supports. By then it was Christmas, and time for a little celebration.Moxie didn't understand what Christmas was all about but her face lit up when I gave her a few little trinkets that I had managed to squirrel away during our trip to Fort Worth. They weren't much but they were all I could afford and she seemed to appreciate them. With her culture, I didn't expect anything in return but she went to her workbag — where she kept her leather working and sewing items — and came back with a beautiful pair of new moccasins for me. They had been decorated with a sort of geometric sun on the toe and were much too precious for everyday wear. I decided to keep them solely for wearing at home, sort of like shoes for the house.It was about that time that Moxie's interest in sex seemed to take an upward turn. We had been limiting our activity to me on top, her on top, or me spooning behind her and only once every three or four days.. This was the first time I'd ever been tied up like this, never mind the fact that I couldn't predict his next move, or see where he was. The blindfold definitely added to the feeling of being helpless. Supposing I'd wanted this to feel that “fear”. Suppose I wanted to know what it would be like to be used in such a way. “No” the word just fell out of my mouth. He laughed.He assured me he was going to take me to the darkest corners of my mind time and time again in conversation. Promised he would fulfill my every fantasy. In return I'd told him I would do anything to fulfill his. Anything. Here I lay, tied tightly to a black bedframe in lace panties, with my eyes blinded by a red satin blindfold. Jesus. The fear finally took over or what I recognized as fear. But the moment he kissed me, softly, and told me he loved me, the fear subsided into pure desire and need to be taken just like this. I found a man who would control me. It's what I've needed.One could say I'd.
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